Nichi, the person, the life

2020

2019

2018

December

November

“I don’t eat meat. But I do wish something would die for my food.”
“I’m not paid to teach them punctuality. I’m paid to teach them philosophy. Very different things. Philosophers are not punctual.”
“Are they [Arkansasns] conscious yet, as a people?”
“I realized when making the list of world leaders that the bad are more memorable than the good.”
“One true mereology: van Inwagen’s organicism, except there are no bees, only particles arranged bee-wise.”
“I’m a realist, but an anti-realist about realism.”
“New position: Strong AI is impossible because any AI sufficiently intelligent to be strong will just kill itself.”
“People think my name looks like “Nietzsche”.
I find this fact odd, but appreciable.”
“maybe the picture is a little more complicated than “serotonin tank is low”.”
“Nonetheless, the point of these thought experiments as skeptical hypotheses is that they are not realistic. The Matrix qualifies as science fiction because of the simulation involved rather than just the cybergoth outfits.”
“Some cartoons make use of a (rather literal) cartoon version of substance dualism.”
“Plan A: Vote
Plan B: Vore”
“If you can’t beat them, eat them.”

Nichi, November 2018

October

September

August

July

June

In June I finished my first year of grad school. With four incompletes, in part because I got too sick. I wrote some blog posts. I realized summer wouldn’t be as productive as I had hoped.

“They wanted to pay homage to Kant by not getting a fucking editor.”
“Bring national politics into children’s card games”
“Lesson: Don’t be ugly”
“In this weeks episode of ideas Nichi finds out someone else already thought, after many arguments of idealism vs. physicalism, I’ve started thinking perhaps they’re basically the same thing. But, here it is, eighty-one years ago.”
“Continental philosophers: Analytic philosophers don’t make sense.
Analytic philosophers: Conties don’t make sense.
Me, a pluralist: “Moreover, the grounding relation is, as affirmed in the rejection of the metamaxim-as-causal-disposition account of the identity of metamaxim with character, having to do with a metamaxim that is only understood from the noumenal standpoint as a metamaxim.””
“As it turns out, eating $15 of low-quality food in one sitting is a challenge.”
“Perhaps the most unexpected change: Unlike in Indiana, after voting in California, I was rewarded with a weapon.”
“Yknow, I wonder if we’d get higher voter turnout if everyone had polls within easy walking distance and a very quick process.”
“Remember that a vote for a third party is a vote for the Republican.
And remember that a vote for a third party is a vote for the Democrat.
So by voting third party, you double your voting power. #LegalLoopholes
“There was a study awhile ago that put children in a room with a marshmallow. The children were promised a second marshmallow if they could resist the temptation for one minute.
Thirty years later, some researchers looked at how those kids turned out. There was a remarkable difference in outcomes as adults between the children who did and did not wait. Some people took this as evidence that willpower is important. (That willpower isn’t even a thing is one of my axes to grind, but that’s another post.)
Another twenty years later, further research indicates that familial wealth did the job. Wealth explains why some kids waited. And wealth also tends to lead to more wealth.
When most of your experiences are one way, you grow to expect that way. It tints the way you perceive things. Poor kids (and people who are poor for an extended period of time in general) have learned to not trust that nice things will persist. They are in a world in which the best way to get nice things is to take them while you can. Some guy in a labcoat saying that there will be a second marshmallow does not constitute sufficient reason to believe that there will be a second marshmallow.
(Of course, in addition to the familial wealth explaining a lot of the trend towards better outcomes, the resulting difference in how the world is perceived probably also plays an important role. If the only way up is to play the long game, then anyone who rationality demands see the world in terms of the short game is at a huge disadvantage.)”
“After a week of laughing at Indiana for being hotter than here, I guess someone decided to set the sun to kill mode.” 

Nichi, June 2018

May

By May I was keeping a little notebook with me at all times to keep track of my interesting thoughts before they got away. Many of my friends graduated, and their success made me feel proud of my alma mater. I started the Philosophy Memes album.

“1.2.2.2.2.9 will help. Also .3.3. Uhh, the .3.3 replaces the .9. An extra level is added.”
“LIL DANGER NOOD DOOD”
“Who’s ready to lay the smackdown on primary qualities?”
“What good is good?”
“In this week’s episode of Nichi attempts moral philosophy: I bracket metaphysical problems and defend Kant.”
“Kant on evil: It’s a feature.”
“If a generation of preteens can learn HTML/CSS for their MySpace pages, one would think a basic markup language would not be much to learn for an academic paper.”
“Sometimes I forget that while I’m in a humanities graduate program, my B.S. is indeed representative of a STEM education.
Then I show up to metalogic class way too excited for set theory and remember.”
“My parents are out of town, so I threw a party without their permission.
I actually haven’t seen them in eight months. I don’t think they’re coming. Is there a protocol here? How many parties do I throw? How long am I supposed to keep doing this?”
“Given the on-going debate between using one or two spaces after a full stop, I have decided to just do both.”

April

Again, me in December on me in April: “April fired off a quarter I wasn’t super excited about at first. A lot of ethics. And six courses, for whatever reason. (It all worked out, though.) Prospie weekend also happened. So I got a sneak preview of the entering cohort. The spring quarter started with Larry Wrightfest, which had some of the most interesting talks I’ve heard. Perhaps the strangest spontaneous activity was going to the gym on an offhanded invite, leading me to run 13 miles that night and then 13 more the next. My sister visited, and that was also nice. We went to the mall and I bought pants. The checkered and constellation pants I wear all the time. And the heels I like to wear to be tall. The Wittgenstein stuff I had been working on finally sunk in and I turned my back on metaphysics as I knew it. “

“I am a ray of sunshine that will burn you.”
“Explain like I’m B.F. Skinner.”
“Okay but the moon is a hoax sooooo”
“Always remember that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer’s table.”
“Another episode of Nichi doing ethics:
I sat down to write a paper on Kant’s moral theory.
Four hours later, I have seven pages on Kant’s metaphysics of time.”
“In today’s episode of Nichi attempting to not constantly go meta in a normative ethics seminar: The article we were discussing noted that deontologists prioritize deliberation while consequentialists prioritize justification. The two options proposed were ditch deontology or ditch consequentialism.
My third option: Abandon the temporal fixity of truth. (Assuming there is a fact of the matter as to whether to take action phi at time t, the truth or falsity is determined according to deontology prior to t and according to consequentialism after t. This option was remarkably unpopular.)”
“I know the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon is a thing, but I did not expect it to apply to the contents of Hegel’s Phenomenology of Spirit.”
“If you give up on things like value judgements and expertise, you lose almost all ground you have to say much with oomph. Some things are better than some other things. Aesthetically as well as politically. Media created with nuance and skill is better than kitsch and propaganda. People who spend a lot of time studying a thing do tend to know better than most about that thing. “Elitism” has become such a bad word that we’ve forgotten that it is better to be better.”
“Texts (and other works, but usually texts) that are difficult and slow, but rewarding, to work through have benefits over fast and easy media. Simple messages are easy to use as rallying cries. For good or bad causes. If something takes no thought to consume, then it usually won’t get much thought in its consumption. This isn’t to say that writing in such a way that is needlessly difficult to understand is a good thing, but works that reward reading slowly and rereading and analysizing are better.”
“While most of my philosophical interests are interests for probably decent reasons, I’m pretty sure my interest in the (possibility of and Kant’s view on) the moral badass is mostly immature giggling at the jargon.”
“As I was running a couple days ago I saw someone riding a bike parallel to me. Then a minute later I noticed I had kept pace with him.”
“In my notes I use a lot of abbreviations. Berkeley is B, Kant is K, Nietzsche is N, from is f/, with is w/, without is w/o, metaphysics is MP, knowledge is K, earthquake is EQ, radical freedom is RF, argument is arg, et cetera is etc., etc.
You can imagine my confusion the first time I reread my notes on K’s theory of K.”
“There are things that are intrinsically valuable and meaningful.
And that value and meaning supervenes on the physical.”
“April fools all search for meaning is futile.”
“Well, around a year ago I was really on about metaphysics and ethics. I think anyone who has mentioned Leibniz or a topic close enough (monads, panpsychism, communism, that things exist) is aware enough of this. But after many tumultuous nights I cannot shake the conclusion that to do metaphysics is to look in all the wrong places. Ethics has similar problems.
But, of course never to despair, I have some hope for fruitful investigations in the philosophies of language and religion.” 

Nichi, April 2018

March

March: March I got to spend a week with a friend and also record a song. Someone giving me a massage noticed that my shoulders had no tension in them at all. I turned 23. Some of the Nietzschean stuff was really settling in. Between the philosophical energy and physical energy from working out so much, I was very energetic. This also lead me to switch from XL shirts to M. And pick out some plain white tees to go under my leather jacket. The style only turned up from there. Also March was the month of the Bad Santa vs. bad Santa 2, greatest poll of all time. The winter quarter ended, and I got another wisdom tooth right on schedule.

“You can’t break what’s broken.”
“The only purpose of his existence is as a pinata.”
“I had a dream last month. I was in fifth grade again. I didn’t fit in very well because I’m 22.”
“If you ask what you should do, the answer to do what you should do is remarkably unhelpful.”
“Just put a footnote there to be like, ‘I recognize your objection, but shut the fuck up.'”
“If you’re having a bad time, just remember that the complete individual concept of everything in the best possible world includes your being in the best possible world.”
“Books of the American Bible: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Deuteronomy, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Romans, Corinthians 14, Revelation, Inferno, Purgatorio, Paradisio, the artwork of Da Vinci, Paradise Lost, The Declaration of Independence, The Constitution, Thomas Jefferson, The Da Vinci Code”
“Here for a short time, not for a good time.”
“None of the legislators who say that gun-free zones are killing fields are working to protect their own safety by allowing guns in the capitols. I’m starting to think they’re being disingenuous.”
“Sometimes I hear complaints about continental philosophy being incomprehensible, etc., but I open an analytic article and already in the first paragraph the author is talking nonsense.” [Referring to an article mentioning a mind-independent world.]
“In response to some of the (school) shootings, I have seen several people suggest taking away people’s guns or even attacking the shooters with fire extinguishers. But we should remember that using violence makes you just as bad as them. What we really need is for people in the shot-at community to reach out to active shooters. We need conversation and democracy, not more violence.”
“I did not intend to derail a seminar on contemporary philosophy of mind onto Locke vs. Berkeley. But I’m not upset that it happened.”
“So, since I cannot not vote, I’ll do the next closest thing. I’ll vote libertarian.” 

Nichi, March 2018

February

February 2018: The start of February shook things up. I made several new friends in a renewed effort to do such a thing. I also dug my heels even deeper into metaphysics. Also texting Jess was probably half of the month. *And* I made the Kicking Life’s Ass playlist. To go with the daily workout routine I started.

“I remember this, but it remains hilarious.”
“Nah man, I decided to not drink anymore. It was costing too much energy that I could been using for metaphysics.”
“After several attempts of doing what I thought I was supposed to and failing, I tried self-indulgent rambling for a dozen pages.”
“WinRAR has been in bondage for too long. The time has come to liberate it.”
“There is a very noticeable inverse relation between effort and goodness. I.e. the stuff I half-ass while half-conscious is good. The stuff I put serious time and effort into is not good.”
“Clearly we have abused our freedom from 8.3 and must return.”
“Dares: an important element of any philosophical discourse” 

January

2017

December

I didn’t really take pictures in December. I am noticeably thinner than I was several months before. (None of my pants fitting anymore kinda gave it away, but looking through pictures from the entire year really drove home how much thinner I’ve become. Odd.)

I finished the quarter and became quite ill. My cough was bad enough that while I’m better now, my voice is still recovering. I watched the entirety of Californication. Good show.

Quote: A rather attention-grabbing phrasing of my ideas that, one, we’re not guided by reason, and, two, reason can only be a ground for value if you start from reason in the first place.

“by reading Hegel’s Phenomenology of Spirit, you experience doom” (I got an A on this paper, btw.)
“Forgoing the community for small family units is just another tentacle of the rampant individualism.”

Nichi, December 2017

November

Quote: In response to a paper in which Grice figures out reason, reasons, and reasoning are somehow related.

Photo: Allix came to Socal. Hung out with her, Katherine, Talia, and Lauren for a bit. I was going to say “Managed to get no group shots,” which is still true, but I remembered Allix took a selfie of us. So here’s that.

More reading and writing. Really, these months aren’t all that different from one another. I believe it was this month I was told my Kant-Berkeley paper had no real page limit, and I could likely revise it into an MA thesis. Neato. I then spent more time on it than anything else. On the bright side, I get the feeling I’m starting to at least have an idea of the overall discussion on the matter. And, somewhat less so, the metaphysics and epistemology of the two.

“I’m large, but not three-room large.”
“You know what makes going to a seminar and working on a paper even better?
I’m not sure, but apparently we can cross migraines off the list of possibilities.”
“Maybe don’t choose enjoyment of genocide.”
“Working clocks are always changing. At least once per minute.”
“Me on value: Nothing matters.
Me on metaphysics: There is no matter.
There’s a pun waiting to happen in there somewhere.” 

Nichi, November 2017

October

Actual first month of graduate school. Fun times. I ended up reading even more than I did in the summer.

Quote: Me, talking to myself about metaphysics.
Photo: Halloween party.

“I think you have to cite ee cummings to use this much punctuation in a sentence.” (In a comment I made on something one of my friends wrote.)
“Fun fact: Superpowers violate the laws of nature. That’s what makes them super.”
“Pretty good Columbus day. Broke into six houses, killed five families, and discovered $32,000 of stuff.”

Nichi, October 2017
After a day of stuff, a very active going away party, two plane rides, wandering my new locale, and then finally deciding to eat some food at a food place near the dept.
Honestly I’m surprised this picture came out half as well as it did.

September

Another month with a major division down the middle. The first half was more adventures in Valpo. Culminating in what may have been the best party I have had or will have there. (I must say, though, I invited everyone who came to come hang out in Socal and only three people seem to be taking up the offer. 😉 )

The second half was the move to Riverside. Bumming around with some friends (because I didn’t have a place for the first couple weeks) and then moving in with my one bag because I didn’t feel like packing. Then classes started.

Quote: I don’t remember the context of the joke, but I was jabbing at the object of study of Kati and Bill.
Photo: While tempting to use a pic from Rside, I figured this is the last one from Valpo. And it is, once again, Kati and me being silly at Wal-mart.

August

Many of my friends all came into town at once this month. I guess they had school or something. But before that I spent several days hanging out with Kati and sending people photographs of her walls via the snap chat application.

Quote: Referencing the video in which Allix throws a DVD player out a second story window.
Photo: Tammi was about to move to Korea so a bunch of us went to the bar in the mythical land of Portage to say farewell. And yell Linkin Park lyrics at our table. Theodore, Joseph. Thanks for buying drinks. 😜

“Stared at the eclipse. Now I’m blind.
I was blind before but I’m also blind now.” (I guess there was an eclipse. Carly caught me using those sunglasses, but I also gave the sun a good five minute naked eye staredown.)
“I like those articles with lists of words that cannot be translated into English that also contain a list, in English, of what the words mean.”

Nichi, August 2017

July

Not much. Hung out with Theodore I think. Probably also Josh and Gracie. Maybe that was all August. I probably spent most of this month at my working table.

Quote: Me, pointing out the utter ridiculousness of those idiotic posts chastising people for condemning capitalism while using a device produced under the conditions of capitalism.
Photo: After seeing the last ( 😢 ) show of Her Eyes Glazed Over and Designing The Flaw. Masks were thrown into the crowd. I caught one

“Three high five emojis equals one prayer.”
“Alcohol is like a gun. But instead of killing people, it kills feelings.”
“Some people consider things like psychological impact on people still alive, how much of a mess it makes, etc. Those people are idiots, and I will ignore them.” (Said sarcastically, to illustrate the badness of what someone else was saying.)
“Someone could value whatever Bill commands. And thus have Bill Command Theory.” (In explaining Divine Command Theory and how it fits into existentialist ethics.)
“The hyphen key on my keyboard just broke. Guess I can’t do continental philosophy anymore.”
“Hm. I can’t really think of any math areas that avoid minus signs. I suppose I could always just write \includegraphics{minus.jpg} anytime I need one.
Or use the numpad. But that seems a little cumbersome.”

Nichi, July 2017

June

I’m pretty sure this month I finally did go to the hospital. Lots of late nights writing. Not a lot to say about June.

Quote: I believe a discussion got going about nudism.

Photo: A rarely seen instance of me not wearing a t-shirt. Featuring wind.

Other quotes:
“Chisholm has to have a child and name it Panpsy.” (I know this is not possible, but this may well have been in the middle of a discussion involving time travel.)
“Like, some foods get moved from one meal to another. Bacon for dinner. Rice for breakfast, whatever. But steak doesn’t make it to breakfast. Why? Because it’s clearly too much effort to deal with the liquid all over the place and trying to cut something up with a knife while stabbing it with a fork. And at least steak is somewhat easy to stab. Pancakes are a pain in the ass to hold down, to cut through, and to pick up. And then you still get syrup dripping all over your clothes, slept in and kinda yucky or for the day, or else you have to lean way over your plate. Like, I just woke up! I don’t want to deal with this yet!”
“So the snap back to reality is like the experience of exception handling.” (At one point while playing Chess Evolved online I hallucinated that I was outside. Once I realized that made no sense, I must be inside, my perception had an odd snapping sensation.)
“Also TOP seems to be in a totally different genre. Like, would you get rid of Metallica, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, or Nicki Minaj?”

May

I think I graduated from Valpo this month. I never collected the piece of paper so maybe not. Nobody explained the process to me. I did write and wrap up some fun papers. One on that whole willpower not being a thing thing. Another comparing some works of Marilyn Manson with some of Philip Pullman. Also one about Sartre. Yay Sartre. The second half of the month I proceeded to unwind. And by unwind I mean dive into projects and hobbies that I’d wanted to do but hadn’t due to my busy schedule. Which turned out to be mostly more writing.

Quote: Gracie posted about someone with a stupid idea.

Photo: Funny recent story, actually. Last month I saw Deicide is one of the most important death metal bands. I remember them playing in Valpo a couple times, and I was disappointed in myself for never going to see them. Then as I looked back over my Facebook posts from May, I saw I bought tickets. I became somewhat mad at myself for buying tickets and then forgetting to go to the show. Especially since I bought the tickets the day of the show. Then as I went through my May photos, I found this. Dated the same day as the show. Turns out I totally did go. It was a pretty awesome show, too. Also this and every photo taken of me after this has my nose in a (slightly) different shape than every photo before. At the show I took an elbow to the nose and face. There was lots of blood, and the small hump my nose used to have has been permanently bashed in.

Other quotes:
“I had most of my ideas when I was nine years old. It’s all been iteration on that.”
“Sleep is like chicken tenders.”

April

The first half was incredibly tense and exciting. Tense enough that I end trouble sleeping. Exciting because I got to visit UCR and UA, meeting more swell people, having more interesting discussions, and (more trivially) finally going somewhere west of Illinois. The most fun chain was going to FSU, getting back to Valpo for like two days, hopping on a plane to Riverside, (Well, Ontario, and then a car to Riverside), followed by a plane to Memphis to present some of my work on free will (in which I overslept and missed the bus, so I showed up just before my panel was up), bus back to Valpo, followed the next day by a plane ride to Tucson. The day I got back to Valpo from there I gave a talk on why idealism is right. (Well, I got back, had lunch, talked to Dr. Visser about where to go, then gave my talk.) The rest of the month was much more chill, especially knowing all I had to do was pass my classes.

Quote: I was thinking back to some of the things I did when I was younger. In grade school gym class we started each day with laps around the gym. To keep myself from giving up or going too slowly, I imagined a cartoonishly giant pair of scissors floating in the air, following me, snipping away with the threat of being cut in half if I didn’t keep moving quickly. When I described this to TJ after a psychology lecture, he told me I was drunk.

Photo: The Commuter Student Org organized a trip to Zao Island. When let loose, we played around for awhile, and then a few of us wandered off to Burger King for awhile. So here’s another pic of Kati and I being silly, but this time at BK.

Other quotes:
“Hobby: When people argue “Ill-ih-noy” vs “Ill-ih-noise”, I hop in with “Ill-i-nwah”.”
“List of 10 bands/musicians I’ve seen live, except instead of normal, one of them is a lie. Sorry, Kant.”
“Also in my benadryl-induced loopiness I tried using a paintbrush instead of a screwdriver.”

Location: Tallahassee, somewhere between FSU and downtown.

March

It was a rather stressful month. Nearly went to the hospital at one point. On the fun side, my first two school visits (Mizzou and FSU) were that month. I also spent a fair bit of time digging through the 1920s and 1930s archives of some German logic journals in writing a paper on the history of deviant logics. And then I read Hegel for the first time.

Quote: I don’t remember the context for this quote, but given March was when I started working on showing that willpower (and weakness of will) is not a thing, it seemed ironic.

Picture: Being silly with a hairnet in the Christopher Center.

Other quotes:
“I still don’t understand how having $85 to blow in any way implies someone is less likely to be a threat.” (Regarding the TSA’s official policy of letting you skip security if you pay them off.)
“I did nothing to acquire US citizenship. I can’t see much sense in demanding more from anyone else.” (Apparently immigration was a big issue that month. I insisted that it seems silly for me to demand more of others to acquire their citizenship than I did. As far as I’m remembering right now, I have only one friend who did anything for his US citizenship.)
“Tfw I accidentally refer to the hotel as home after one night” (Said at Mizzou.)
“Didn’t even have anyone stick their hands down my pants. Flying like it’s 1999.” (I had one tolerable experience with airport security.

February

The month the grad schools started responding. Thankfully with good news. (At least from half of them. The other half did not have good news. For me.) I also got to go to a Compass workshop at UNC and meet some cool people, which was nice.

Quote: Joseph noted that I tend to condense what I say nearly to the point of disutility. This came up in a later discussion over the relative perceived badness of heresy and infidelity through history.

Picture: Kati and I being silly at Wal-Mart, again.

Other notable Nichi quote: “Interesting how heresy has lost so much of its oomph that people will claim several religions are all worshiping the same god, implicitly implying several religions are just heresies.” (A comment leading to the above quote.) 

January

2016

December

November

Old name, but technically my first R&R.

October

September

August

July

June

May

I had a lot of plane pics that month. Which was also the month I went to UMD for a week of logical fun. Possibly the week that solidified my drive to go into philosophy.

Photo: Taking a bite out of a big sculpture of a donut at UMD.
Quote: Basically my catchphrase for awhile. It’s a good line. I still use it sometimes.

April

The month I went to NCUR. The month I made All Your Friends Are Assholes (with plenty of help). One of the better final months of a semester.

Photo: A bathroom selfie on the way to NCUR.
Quote: From my recap of NCUR on the way back.

March

Photo Context: In my room taking a selfie. I like to keep some track of what I look like over time. Though almost all go on my hard drive for no eyes but my own.
Text Context: I was explaining why concretism is right to AnnaBill, and Kaylyn.

February

Photo: In Heidbrink lounge waiting for Kati‘s class to end. I’m soaked because it’s storming outside.
Text: I have no idea.

January

Photo: Showing off my new Pokemon hat.
Text: I’m not actually sure. Probably alluding to Moore’s two hands argument.

2015

December

November

October

Photo: From Cannibal Corpse photo op.
Caption: My noticing I had like twenty five pizzas in October.

September

Photo: Sarah needed evidence of my pink underwear.
Caption: Well, Stacy and Lucy know the context
I called the election five years early.

August

Photo: My shooting practice target.
Caption: A joke about Metallica.

July

Photo: Because I apparently have no photos of myself in July, 2015, only Runescape.
Quote: When I was making fun of Indiana’s laws.

June

Photo: A photoshop of a photo I took the day I had to look formal.
Caption: I made a joke about the new $10 bill with a woman on it only being worth $7.70. Some people objected that the pay gap is a myth.

May

Photo: Timehop Then/Now
Caption: From my speech final

April

Picture: From Valpo Day picture we took in speech class.
Caption: Someone demanded a Nichi app.

March

February

Photo: The morning after I got this cool hat.
Caption: The title of a paper I wrote about how Protestantism ruined America.

January

2014

December

November

October

September

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January