A new answer to the trolley problem, plus follow-up on likely outcomes

The problem: A train is going down some tracks, as trains do. I am standing many yards away. I can see the train, but I cannot get any nearer to it. The track the train is on will soon have it run over and kill five people, because they are tied to the tracks. But! I have a lever that will make the train go down a different track. However, that track has one person tied to it. What am I, a moral agent, to do?

The solution: I close my eyes and rapidly pull the lever back and forth. This takes my agency out of the question and leaves it to God. Since God is perfectly good, they will make the morally best decision.

The follow-up: My friend who knows a bit more about track-based transportation than I do pointed out to me that this answer leads to multi-track drifting. The front of the train will go down one set of tracks. The rear will go down another. Thus, this solution kills all six people.

If the tracks are too far apart, then the train will derail. Then the surrounding environment will determine what happens. If the tracks are in a secluded area, then nothing of further note will happen. If there are things on the train’s new, freer path, then the train will hit them.

Regardless, the train is unlikely to be usable again, thereby solving the problem once and for all.

Giving up on communication with the irredeemably useless

Sometimes interactions with large organizations go wrong. On occasion they will communicate in a way that resolves problems. Sometimes (like with UPS) they dig their heels into the ground and accuse everyone else of wrongdoing, including parties not involved. And in this week’s case, the USPS has been unresponsive, both locally and nonlocally.

I’m not sure if anyone reads these, but I’ve decided to just have fun with the ones that are irredeemably useless. Let the fun begin:

 

USPS Message