Kill Yourself: A Limerick
Your life is a big waste of timeContaining no reason nor rhymeSo please kill yourselfFor all of our healthOr I’ll cook you into a slime Continue reading Kill Yourself: A Limerick
Your life is a big waste of timeContaining no reason nor rhymeSo please kill yourselfFor all of our healthOr I’ll cook you into a slime Continue reading Kill Yourself: A Limerick
Hey man, fuck you, tooI have six in line to screwThat’s more than you do Continue reading Six in Line
I flew with Delta a while ago, and the flight ended up oversold. I’ve heard that this isn’t the first time they had this problem, either, so I’ve sent them a 2-step method to prevent it from happening again: 1. Count the available seats in the plane. 2. Only sell that many tickets. Continue reading A public suggestion to Delta Airlines
When students enter the Real World™, they will probably experience hail. This means teachers should whip chunks of ice at their students. To prepare them. Continue reading On preparation for the Real World™ via being unpleasant
The problem: A train is going down some tracks, as trains do. I am standing many yards away. I can see the train, but I cannot get any nearer to it. The track the train is on will soon have it run over and kill five people, because they are tied to the tracks. But! I have a lever that will make the train go … Continue reading A new answer to the trolley problem, plus follow-up on likely outcomes
Sometimes interactions with large organizations go wrong. On occasion they will communicate in a way that resolves problems. Sometimes (like with UPS) they dig their heels into the ground and accuse everyone else of wrongdoing, including parties not involved. And in this week’s case, the USPS has been unresponsive, both locally and nonlocally. I’m not sure if anyone reads these, but I’ve decided to just … Continue reading Giving up on communication with the irredeemably useless
I will admit, I did laugh when I saw this. The horoscope sharebait is pretty obvious since the zodiac does include everyone. The obviousness of this one strikes right into the realm of the absurd. Continue reading ASMS: Height
There are countless pictures floating around at any given time asking people to do a simple arithmetic problem. Usually the problem requires knowing the order operations are carried out in. Then an argument ensues in the comments, usually with some people sounding really sure that the order of operations only applies in the context of a class on the order of operations. (You could of … Continue reading ASMS: Math
I haven’t posted one of these here yet, so I’ll explain: Sometimes I see a post floating around social media. More often than I’d like. If the post is stupid and I have an idea to edit it, I sometimes do so. This one originally had an unborn child inside the character on the left with the arrow and text on the right pointing to … Continue reading Annoying Social Media Spam: The logic-impaired
left left left left left left left left left left left left left left crash left left Continue reading A NASCAR Haiku