Quotes, 2018 Edition, Volume B

Richard Bach
“You’ve sacrificed your entire life to be who you are today. Was it worth it?”

Sebastian Bach
“I am the man who put the hair in hair metal.”
“Metal is still the biggest music now in America.”

Mikhall Bakunin
“Does it follow that I reject all authority? Perish the thought. In the matter of boots, I defer to the authority of the boot-maker.”

Gracie Bailey
“You should burn down McDonalds.”
“My cat pisses me off. He’s too fat.”

Roland Barthes
“Thus literature (it would be better, henceforth, to say writing), by refusing to assign to the text (and to the world as text) a “secret:’ that is, an ultimate meaning, liberates an activity which we might call counter-theological, properly revolutionary, for to refuse to arrest meaning is finally to refuse God and his hypostases, reason, science, the law.”

Mario Batali
“The way the bankers have kind of toppled the way money is distributed, and taken most of it into their own hands, is as good as Stalin or Hitler.”

Chris Baty
“A deadline is, simply put, optimism in its most ass-kicking form.”

Simone de Beauvoir
“Well I just don’t give a damn … I’m sorry to disappoint all the feminists, but you can say that it’s too bad so many of them live only in theory instead of in real life.”

Belial (xkcd forum)
“As always, if you think people with “made up disabilities” have it so incredibly easy in our society, I urge you to make up a disability and get on that comfy, comfy train.
The fact that you are not doing so indicates that you know, on some level, that you are actually full of shit.”

Tony Benn
“The Marxist analysis has got nothing to do with what happened in Stalin’s Russia: it’s like blaming Jesus Christ for the Inquisition in Spain.”

George Berkeley
“if you can but conceive it possible for one extended movable substance, or in general, for any one idea or anything like an idea, to exist otherwise than in a mind perceiving it, I shall readily give up the cause…I shall grant you its existence, though you cannot either give me any reason why you believe it exists, or assign any use to it when it is supposed to exist.”

Dani Bunten Berry
“No one ever said on their deathbed, “Gee, I wish I had spent more time alone
with my computer.”

Bible
“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” (Matthew 6:24)
“A false balance is an abomination to the Lord.” (Proverbs 11:1)
“I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.” (Ecclesiastes 9:11)
“Those who rejoice at the misfortune of others shall be punished.” (Proverbs 17:5)
“14 What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? 17 So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
18 But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. 19 You believe that God is one; you do well. Even the demons believe—and shudder! 20 Do you want to be shown, you foolish person, that faith apart from works is useless?” (James 2:14-20)

William Blake
“You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough.” (Proverbs of Hell)
“We are led to believe a lie
when we see with, not through, the eye.”

Harold Bloom
“Pragmatically, the “expansion of the Canon” has meant the destruction of the Canon, since what is being taught includes by no means the best writers who happen to be women, African, Hispanic, or Asian, but rather the writers who offer little but the resentment they have developed as part of their sense of identity. There is no strangeness and no originality in such resentment; even if there were, they would not suffice to create heirs of the Yahwist and Homer, Dante and Shakespeare, Cervantes and Joyce.”
“A poem cannot be read as a poem, because it is primarily a social document or, rarely yet possibly, an attempt to overcome philosophy.”
“What’s happening is part of a phenomenon I wrote about a couple of years ago when I was asked to comment on Rowling. I went to the Yale University bookstore and bought and read a copy of “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.” I suffered a great deal in the process. The writing was dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character “stretched his legs.” I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling’s mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing.
But when I wrote that in a newspaper, I was denounced. I was told that children would now read only J.K. Rowling, and I was asked whether that wasn’t, after all, better than reading nothing at all? If Rowling was what it took to make them pick up a book, wasn’t that a good thing?
It is not. “Harry Potter” will not lead our children on to Kipling’s “Just So Stories” or his “Jungle Book.” It will not lead them to Thurber’s “Thirteen Clocks” or Kenneth Grahame’s “Wind in the Willows” or Lewis Carroll’s “Alice.”
Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, “If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King.” And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read “Harry Potter” you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
Our society and our literature and our culture are being dumbed down, and the causes are very complex. I’m 73 years old. In a lifetime of teaching English, I’ve seen the study of literature debased. There’s very little authentic study of the humanities remaining. My research assistant came to me two years ago saying she’d been in a seminar in which the teacher spent two hours saying that Walt Whitman was a racist. This isn’t even good nonsense. It’s insufferable.”

Brandon Billard
“He’s [Milo Yianopolous] like the human incarnation of “I’m not homophobic I have a gay friend””

Soren Bjornstad
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure if you *steal* the entire contents of someone’s house, you’re at least going to pay the retail value…”
“Vim is basically about completely throwing out the entire standard control scheme and replacing it with a 104-button gamepad”
“…what have you been doing to the poor computer/drive? I’ve literally never had to use -o force”

Bob Black
“Anti-anarchists may well conclude that if there is to be hierarchy and coercion, let it be out in the open, clearly labelled as such. Unlike these pundits (the right-wing “libertarians,” the minarchists, for instance) I stubbornly persist in my opposition to the state. But not because, as anarchists so often thoughtlessly declaim, the state is not “necessary.” Ordinary people dismiss this anarchist assertion as ludicrous, and so they should. Obviously, in an industrialized class society like ours, the state is necessary. The point is that the state has created the conditions in which it is indeed necessary, by stripping individuals and face-to-face voluntary associations of their powers. More fundamentally, the state’s underpinnings (work, moralism, industrial technology, hierarchic organizations) are not necessary but rather antithetical to the satisfactions of real needs and desires. Unfortunately, most brands of anarchism endorse all these premises yet balk at their logical conclusion: the state.”
“Child of privilege Lorraine Schein is used to having her way — and having it both ways. To criticize feminism is sexist and unchivalrous. To ignore it is to deny woman her voice, as usual. As for the women — most of them — who reject feminism, they’re just “displaying the short memory for history of most women” — the dumb cunts! They don’t appreciate what the feminists have done for them!”
“In calling me hysterical she is, in effect, calling me a cunt.”

Blanshard
“Democracy, whether within a nation or between nations, calls for more than counting heads. It requires pocketing small egotisms in the attempt to find a common good and an objective better and worse.”

/u/bmhadoken
“A rock is free.”

Murray Bookchin
“As a result of this transfer, a theoretical corpus which was liberating a century ago is turned into a straitjacket today. We are asked to focus on the working class as the “agent” of revolutionary change at a time when capitalism visibly antagonizes and produces revolutionaries among virtually all strata of society, particularly the young. We are asked to guide our tactical methods by the vision of a “chronic economic crisis” despite the fact that no such crisis has been in the offing for thirty years,4 We are asked to accept a “proletarian dictatorship”–a long “transitional period” whose function is not merely the suppression of counter-revolutionaries but above all the development of a technology of abundance–at a time when a technology of abundance is at hand. We are asked to orient our “strategies” and “tactics” around poverty and material immiseration at a time when revolutionary sentiment is being generated by the banality of life under conditions of material abundance. We are asked to establish political parties, centralized organizations, “revolutionary” hierarchies and elites, and a new state at a time when political institutions as such are decaying and when centralizing, elitism and the state are being brought into question on a scale that has never occurred before in the history of hierarchical society.” (Listen, Marxists!)
“The unions in capitalist society constitute themselves into a counter-“monopoly” to the industrial monopolies and are incorporated into the neomercantile statified econnomy as an estate. Within this estate there are lesser or greater conflicts, but taken as a whole the unions strengthen the system and serve to perpetuate it.”

Zapp Branigan (Futurama)
“I am the man with no name. Zapp Branigan at your service.”
“If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.”
“When I’m in command, son, every mission is a suicide mission.”
“In a game of chess you can never let the opponent see your pieces.”
“It’ll be like shooting fish in a barrel. Now I’m going to hide in this barrel like the wily fish.”
“On my command, all pilots will fly their ships directly in to the enemy’s death beam, clogging it with wreckage.”

Creed Bratton (The Office)
“Sometimes when I’m sick, or feeling blue, I drink vinegar. I like all kinds: balsamic, vodka, orange juice, leaves.”
“Prediction: the space program will be renamed the Outer Space Program by 2060.”
“The worst part about Raisin Bran is the bran. Hands down.”
“Where’s Thousand Island? I’ve got some vacation time saved up and it sounds like a delicious place to visit.”
“Root beer floats. It does. I’ve tested it.”
“Screw parasailing, man. Make the handicapped sail like the rest of us.”
“I’m really bad at remembering birthdays. I think mine’s in June, but who knows?”
“I’d play the lottery if they let me pick the balls.”
“Here’s the thing about handcuffs: there’s only one key for all of them. It’s not like the Tampa cops have their own special key and the Saskatchewan Mounties have a different one. They’re all the same. So the one true goal in any criminal’s life is to get a copy of the handcuff key. I’ve got thirty. If you want to buy one, you know where to find me.”
“I’m a big fan of snacks. Meals are great, too, but who has time to sit down and eat a whole ham these days? That’s why I get most of my chow from the Vending Machines. Fills me up and it doesn’t empty my wallet. I don’t get why it’s just food in there, though. Why can’t they throw a pair of briefs in the machine for a buck? Sometimes mine break down and I don’t have next month’s pair with me, so vending machine skivvies would be the perfect replacement.”
“Most people think you’ve got to eat meat to fill up at buffets. No way, suckers. It’s all about the sauces. Think about it: your body is mostly made up of fluid. Blood, water, guts. It’s all liquid. So does it make sense to shove a whole bunch of solids down your gullet? Think again. You want to stock up on the sauces because they’ll keep you full the longest. Go for a big old glass of Alfredo sauce and you won’t eat for weeks. Chinese buffets are great for this, too. Kung pao might be spicy, but you drink enough of it and you won’t even be able to think about eating.”
“It drives me crazy when buffets only offer one type of Jell-O.”
“Spoons are one thing, but spooning is a whole other story. I hate spooning. Unless we’re huddling for warmth, I don’t want to sleep anywhere near someone. I need my space. If you get too close to me when I’m sleeping, get ready for some bruises because I’m a wild child at night. Tossing, turning, choking, gouging – trust me, you’re better off as far away from me as possible.”

Alton Brown
“Organization is not a burden. Organization will set you free.”

Vincent Bugliosi
“Up until his arrest in Mendocino Country on July 28, 1967, Charlie had always used his real name, Charles Milles Manson. On that occasion, however, and thereafter, he called himself Charles Willis Manson. Had Manson ever said anything about his name? I asked. Crockett and Poston [fellow resident of Death Valley and former Manson family member, respectively] both told me that they had heard Manson say, very slowly, that his name was “Charles’ Will Is Man’s Son”, meaning that his will was that of the Son of Man.” (Helter Skelter)

E.A. Burtt
“even the attempt to escape metaphysics is no sooner put in the form of a proposition than it is seen to involve highly significant metaphysical postulates. For this reason there is an exceedingly subtle and insidious danger in positivism. If you cannot avoid metaphysics, what kind of metaphysics are you likely to cherish when you sturdily suppose yourself to be free from the abomination? Of course it goes without saying that in this case your metaphysics will be held uncritically because it is unconscious; moreover, it will be passed on to others far more readily than your other notions inasmuch as it will be propagated by insinuation rather than by direct argument. . . . Now the history of mind reveals pretty clearly that the thinker who decries metaphysics . . . if he be a man engaged in any important inquiry, he must have a method, and he will be under a strong and constant temptation to make a metaphysics out of his method, that is, to suppose the universe ultimately of such a sort that his method must be appropriate and successful. . . . But inasmuch as the positivist mind has failed to school itself in careful metaphysical thinking, its ventures at such points will be apt to appear pitiful, inadequate, or even fantastic.” (The Metaphysical Foundations of Modern Physical Science)

/u/FreakinGeese
“Third of all, I don’t think you get what the word “atheist” means. I have one head. There are 7 billion heads I don’t have. That does not mean I have no heads. There is a big difference between 1 head and 0 heads.”

George W. Bush
“I have opinions of my own –strong opinions– but I don’t always agree with them.”

Geezer Butler
“If you are a pop band, don’t say you’re a metal band. Poison and Warrant were about as metal as the Backstreet Boys.”

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